Excuses. Got a million of them, right?
I bet there’s even some you don’t know you’re using.
A recent post sparked some personal conversations about excuses and our natural leaning towards using them.
Excuses feed the flinch mechanism. That momentary hesitation, while we run our internal programs and decide on the safest choice.
I’ll let you in on a secret. Safe isn’t always the best choice.
Safe Can Make You Unhappy
Unhappiness is a virus. Spreading easily from one discontented soul to another.
It seeps into peoples psyches and before they know it they’ve adopted someone else’s meme because it helps them to place the responsibility outside of themselves for their own problems. Brilliant. Simple. Dangerous.
If you’re pissed off with your current set of circumstances in life, I’d bet money that you have your own neat and tidy box of excuses at the ready to support and justify your cause.
Are You Playing The Game?
Hey I’m no exception. I can mix it with the best of them when it suits.
For many years I’ve used the ‘too fat’ excuse. It’s the cross I’ve chosen to bear. Yep chosen.
On a logical level I understand I’m responsible. I’m a grown ass adult, (no pun intended) and have been for a very long time. Sure there were influences, triggers and the like, but I’m not going to run the psychobabble because it only feeds the excuses. More justification is the last thing needed.
My results are a measure of my own actions or inaction as the case may be.
That lack is not caused by a shortage of discipline. But in the strength of belief in my excuses. Your’s too I’d wager.
Over time our behaviours align with our beliefs and are perpetually reinforced through this self talk and action. Before you know it you’re in a cycle that is so automatic you no longer question it.
Well It’s High Time You Questioned
Any of these have a familiar ring?
I can’t make it, I can’t do that, I’m too old, too fat, don’t know. I haven’t got time, don’t deserve it, it’s already been done, I’m not good enough, not smart enough, uncertain.
When we use excuses we are giving ourselves permission to filter out life and its experiences. tweet that
Isn’t the purpose of your time here, to find joy, to love, to be you, to create, to inspire, to help, to savor every single moment.
What’s incredulous is we do this to ourselves! Our own self imposed conditions & behaviors are holding us back.
We excuse ourselves to compensate for our own perceived inadequacies.
We make excuses to others because we fear judgement & abandonment.
When you know better, you’re supposed to do better. So I’m raising the call today.
Examine Your Thoughts
You really do know better don’t you!
What excuses are you running that are holding you back from achieving what you want from life?
Where are you placing responsibility outside of yourself?
Nothing is ever accomplished through excuses. A change is well overdue. I know it’s that time for me how about you?
There’s nothing like a public declaration to help you face your demons, and find support from others in the same boat.
So let me have it. Get a little vulnerable and expose your excuses below…& get ready to face a power shift. Hey be sure to share this with your friends too, leave yourself nowhere to run and hide 
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Jackie,
I love it. You speak my language. Hey I’ve got plenty of excuses but I’ve outsmarted most of them. My biggest hang-ups are distractions, shiny objects, new business models and half-started projects (but that’s another post).
My excuse for not getting started with my own business was…just give me a little more time in the comfort of the corporate womb. But I finally decided I wasn’t getting any younger. That was my last big excuse.
Thank you for the great post and I look forward to seeing more excuses in the comments!
Tom Treanor recently posted..What Do You Wish You’d Known Before You Started Blogging?
Thanks Tom
Always good to know I’m somebodies language. As for outsmarting those excuses, you’ll have to put out a blueprint for that, reckon it would sell like hotcakes.
Everyone has their own line in the sand, glad you found yours and kicked your entrepreneurial ass into gear.
As for that getting older thing, it has its benefits don’t you think?
Psst…Jackie… it’s called the How To ‘Be Real’ Blueprint.
Be real. No excuses. http://how-to-be-real.com
Good one Jas!
My biggest excuse right now is not taking care of my health. In my 20s, metabolism was high, so nothing to worry about. Now in my 30s, my metabolism slowed wayyyy down, but I still have time. I’m still young’ish… at least in my mind. But my body is telling me something totally different. Muscles start to ache from inactivity; my back starts to hurt from sitting in front of the computer hours at a time.
My excuse for not getting on that treadmill 5 feet from the couch? I’ll get on it first thing in the morning before other “obligations” take over. When the morning comes, I tell myself it’s better to be on it while watching TV at night because (i) I can multi-task and (ii) my mind is fresher in the morning for writing. And the cycle goes on and on and on…
I had sort of an epiphany when I returned from my recent vacation. Out of all the vacations that I’ve been on, this is the first time I’ve ever LOST weight while on vacation! Having stayed just outside of the French Quarter and not wanting to pay $20 each day for parking, I did A LOT of walking. And it felt great. Now, the treadmill’s not collecting as much dust as before. One day at a time, one day at a time. God help me if I ever go on a cruise, though. My first time on a cruise a few years back, I gained on average a pound a day (I’m not gonna say how long the cruise was
! Lord, have mercy!
Jeanne recently posted..Taking Chances and the Cure for ED
Oh Jeanne don’t I know about it. I’ve used a bucketload of those excuses myself, plus I think we’ve bought and sold enough exercise gear to start our on gym
Like you, its one day at a time, managing myself in the moment because that’s the only place to focus on.
I had a similar experience with a trip to europe a couple of years back, tonnes of walking and I came home a couple of kilo’s lighter than I went…oh and yes there was a 12 day cruise in that trip too!!….so it goes to show, you don’t have to come home looking like you’ve consumed the whole buffet
Thanks for stopping by
[...] You Don’t Suck, But Your Excuses Do! (jackiepurnell.com) 44.532117 -87.490109 Rate this: Please share this!Like this:LikeBe the first to like this post. This entry was posted in Lessons and tagged Health, Human, lizard brain, Path of least resistance, Risk, Seth Godin, Steven Pressfield, Television program by Todd Lohenry. Bookmark the permalink. [...]
[...] Stop making excuses! If you really want to get ahead, stop taking the safe and easy path. In your business or in your life, there’s something to be said for the riskier road. Excuses may be your way of trying to pick the safest choice. But is that always the right one? Respectfully Disobedient [...]
Great post. You’ve made me realise how many excuses I use to myself. Ooops.
Thanks for sharing on Bizsugar.com
Sian Phillips recently posted..Successes & Failures – Do What Is Right For You
Hey Sian
We all do when it suit’s our needs, but recognising the excuse you’re halfway there to solving the problem
Thanks for dropping by from Bizsugar, hope to see you round here again
If I don’t shear the Alpaca who else is going to do it???
Haha! seriously though, great post and so true!
I consider my butt kicked and I’ll get right on with creating the perfect life for myself … just as soon as I’ve finished knitting that Afghan rug!!
Gemma Thompson ( recently posted..Facebook Security Settings – Getting them Right (with Video Tutorials!)
Hey Gemma
Damn I hadn’t thought of that…oh wait aren’t we supposed to outsource those sorts of things
Don’t know about the perfect life…but hey the Afghan rug would sure make it look pretty
Happy knitting
Jackie,
Very excellent work here… I hate excuses, especially when I hear them coming out of my own mouth.
There is a series of eBooks I’ve wanted to write for a while now… But I keep using the “It’s already been done” excuse as to why I haven’t moved forward… Like my unique take and spin won’t appeal to a certain type of reading.
It’s all been done… Don’t mean we still shouldn’t.
Thanks!!
Ryan H.
Ryan Hanley recently posted..Cold Calling the Internet – An Experiment with Tumblr
Yeah, don’t you just love it when you catch yourself saying stuff that you know is utter bullshit. We’re pretty good at conning ourselves with our own self talk eh.
So being that you know you’ll have a unique slant, and its something that you want to do…Why haven’t you? Is there something else lurking under the surface there too?, if not….
I Look forward to seeing that series of E-books come to life
Wow — this is such a timely post for me! I’m so glad I stumbled across your blog today.
I’ve recently been thinking a lot about excuses and how much I’d like to do but “don’t have time for.” I’ve been planning a wedding, and when I write myself a list of the things I need to do on one particular evening, I’ve been amazed at how much I can get done. Nothing else in my life has particularly changed, so the fact that I “have time” to address my wedding concerns, when I don’t actually have any more time in my day or less time being spent on other things I need to get done, means that I’m just getting better at time allocation. I know what I need to get done, and so that’s what I do. I’m so excited to carry this realization into my post-wedding life — if there’s something I’d like to do, “I don’t have time” is no longer going to be an excuse I hide behind! I’m going to take charge, make time, and do it!
Sarah Kolb recently posted..Top 3 Reasons to Incorporate Your Business
Hi Sarah,
So glad this post resonated with you
You’re certainly not alone, I think lack of time is probably the most used excuse known to man.
. Where he talks about Einstein time, and that we are responsible for where time comes from. The clock and time managment can to more to destroy our productivity than anything.
But really we have all the time that we need, it’s just how we choose to look at it and how we allocate it. I know it sounds simplistic but it is.
Something that created a shift for me with regards to “time” came from Gay Hendricks book The Big Leap
Interestingly enough Danny Iny from Firepole Marketing commented on something similar when asked about how he’s so productive and what system he uses for time management. To which he said (paraphasing) “I’m too busy getting shit done to bother with productivity systems or time management”
I think sometimes we overcomplicate, and try to manage and direct everything. When we really just need to get things done.
Really appreciate you stopping by, and best wishes for the wedding
I hate excuses Jackie. Especially my own.
One little guy in red on the left-shoulder vs. one little guy in white on the right-shoulder.
That little guy in red always has the best sounding stuff though! He’s a smooth talker that one.
Well, I say flick him off your shoulder; man up (or woman up); and just do it. No more excuses for me Jackie. Okay?
Eric
Eric T. Wagner recently posted..Why Entrepreneurs Matter
We’ve all got them haven’t we.
Personally I like the little red guy *or green in my case
, sometimes hes the one that pushes me outside of my boundaries, the little white guy likes to play it too safe at times.
While its a big ask to get to no more excuses, I think learning to see them for what they are might be a goal worth achieving.
Thanks for your comments Eric, always appreciated.
I *LOVE* excuses.
There. I said it.
They were created for a reason, usually to help us navigate an unstable environment.
As kids we learn to use excuses to “get along” or fit in, when we don’t feel ready to run-away or cut-off family.
And that’s fine. I mean, I don’t recommend it, but if that’s the environment we’re in, and that’s the solution we come up with.. well… props to solutions lol.
So, yeah, I love excuses
Sorta.
At the same time, what you’re saying is true, eventually those excuses stop serving us (sometimes very quickly), and shedding light on them helps.
My life has seared away most excuses I can think of off the top of my head. I feel out there on the edge of life, walking the line every day, no excuses, no apologies.
Believe me or not, as you like
Living on the edge is the best place to be. Keeps you sharp, balanced and you take up less room right?
As for excuses, they have their place no doubt. But they become crutches for too many people, you’d see that in your work everyday I’m pretty sure of that.
Getting people to let go can be challenging. Wanting to see people shine often means getting them to stare down their excuses and see alternatives they hadn’t before considered, because those excuses kept them blinkered to the other options.
I can see that you’d love them, for they allow you to work your magic
Haha.. thanks Jackie!
I love the sharp and balanced part, butmy empire is vast and takes up monumental, legendary amounts of room
Yep, they have their place and can become crutches.
I do see it in my work, but they don’t last long in my light, in fact, just today I got an email that said:
“[Jason] who has told me he is tired of my excuses! and good for him!”
Haha, how’s that for timing?
That being said, my aim is to transform excuses as quickly and powerfully as possible, not keep them hanging around.
I just find in my life, that the most powerful way to transform something, is to love it
Jason “J-Ryze” Fonceca recently posted..Elevate Your Celebration – Step Up Your Life
Many of the replies are funny.They make a point of emphasizing that they are not the ones being addressed in this article. With the exertion of a few honest souls, most seem to find it necessary to let people know their superiority on the topic.
Interesting perspective Pat. But I would disagree.
I don’t think any of the commenters come across as being “superior”, most have willingly admited that they fall prey to the excuse game in one way or another.
I wonder what would cause you to have that judgement?
I love when you said, “My results are a measure of my own actions or inaction as the case may be”. Don’t even get me started on my stupid excuses that I hear myself saying. Allot of my excuses I can say I have won the battle and others I am still working on.
I think it comes down to prioritizing things in your life to make things happen and stop bullsh—ng. I hate when people give me excuses, so why should mine sound any better? Great post girl! I loved how you wrote this.
Sonia recently posted..Blogger Spotlight: Susan Silver, Cirquedumot.com
Hey Sonia
So glad it touched a nerve for ya. Hey we’re all human and we’ve had a few years under our belts to perfect the excuses game.
“I hate when people give me excuses, so why should mine sound any better?” I’m with ya on that one!
Here’s to knocking excuses on the head, killing em dead, so we can really reach our full potential.
Nice to see you here Sonia, hope you drop back again soon
This is something I have struggled with for years. There are excuses and there are reasons. There are reasons why we are fat, lazy, poor or unsuccessful. The trick is not to turn these reasons into excuses. The third part of the paradigm is responsibility. This is the most difficult part. Taking responsibility for the situation in which we find ourselves, whatever the reason, whoever’s fault it is, is the road to salvation.
Mike Garner recently posted..A few bests practices on Facebook
Hi Mike
You make a good point, nothing will change until responsibility is taken. It puts you back in the drivers seat again.
Thanks for dropping by, much appreciated.
Hey Jackie – this is such a powerful topic, as it’s true that we all have excuses! Mine for a long time was “I don’t have the money” [to leave my job and travel]. But rather than just trying to “push through” the excuses, it’s taken me the better part of a year of working with my internal stuff to get to a point where I’m ready to go. I don’t necessarily have more money than I did a year ago, but I have significantly changed my relationship to money, to my perception of what I need to live and to the concepts of abundance and scarcity… and now I’m ready.
I think recognizing excuses is such a HUGE first step and I just wanted to contribute my story because I think so many people don’t know what to do once they recognize the excuse…
Great post!
Sarah recently posted..How to Make Life a Celebration
Hi Sarah,
Yep that internal stuff gets you every time eh. Isn’t it funny how once we simply decide to change our thoughts and behaviors we can open up a whole new realm of possibilities for ourselves. Kudos to you for doing the work and breaking free of those excuses, I’m sure it will serve as inspiration to many others.
So where are you planning on travelling too?
Going cross country to New Mexico first (from NY) and then who knows… the world, I hope.
Sarah recently posted..How to Make Life a Celebration
Cool! I look forward to hearing about your adventures. I’m a huge fan of travel there’s nothing like it
Hi Jackie,
Wow! Look at all the comments! You’ve certainly written a post that resonates with a lot of people. The excuse I use the most is definitely “I haven’t got time”. I use it professionally and personally. I’m one week away from filing my taxes and I haven’t even looked at them. I have no excuse for not exercising and being overwhelmed is not a reason for not eliminating unnecessary tasks that I’m wasting my time on. Thanks for the kick in the butt that I need.
Sherryl Perry recently posted..Tracking Changes to Your Website Blog and Social Media Strategy
Hi Sherryl
Seems like we all need a kick in the butt from time to time, or at least a gentle nudge to remind us that we’re actually in control and time doesn’t or shouldn’t control us.
Heres to a productive re-entry after the Easter break
Excuses, excuses, excuses. . .
I make them all the time and they are never legitimate. I don’t want to write or work or . . . and I come up with some pretty creative reasons to not do it. .
Thanks for the reminder. . . I’ve got some work to do.
Alan Smith recently posted..How to Install Genesis Framework and Child Theme
Alan
Yep we can all get pretty creative when it fits the desired outcome, devious little critters we are
Now that you’ve outed your self on that score, nothing left to do but power through the workload. Have fun!
Definitely, excuses are always lame. Excuses are the excuses to avoid the situation and be a scapegoat.
I could say people have said what I want to, but that’d be making an excuse… Thanks for helping mw find an excuse not to excuse myself
Kshitij recently posted..Declare
You are very very welcome..glad you enjoyed the post.